I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize