she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's official drugs can't kill me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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