Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
