All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
