yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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