friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
