Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
