I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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