I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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