So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
