She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
