So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
