I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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