here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
this will be a night to untag.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
