I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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