If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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