We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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