how can u be prego again
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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