You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
