So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
