i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I am spending my child support on dildos
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How external is "for external use only"?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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