I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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