thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
