So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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