I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
