The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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