Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
