knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
