tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
