if i can run in heels then i can drive
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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