"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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