Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
