Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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