Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
