New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize