Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
