my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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