Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
