dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
