I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
