Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
