Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize