So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
