I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
