yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He told me they were just razor bumps!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
