this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
