girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
