Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Terrible idea I love it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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