This is not my ceiling
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This couple is walking their pig around campus
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize