How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
