the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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