They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
