Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
