His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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