There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
