I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
honey bunches of taint.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
