were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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